Thoughts for today

by Alexandra

I have found that the most important thing in life is to consult others whom I trust.

I’m the type of girl who likes to plan everything. In eighth grade, I made a plan for my future — for high school — and when that came to fruition, I couldn’t have been happier. But after that? I forgot to figure things out. I never thought beyond graduation day, and yet here I am, lost in translation, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have a million and one options and, to be honest, that is the most overwhelming part. When I have fewer options, or even better, just one, then everything seems to follow along a straight little path and I have no trouble following through. But what happens when suddenly I am faced with an opportunity to be anything I want?

Lately I have been entertaining the idea of going to medical school and to be honest, it sounds very attractive right now. I have already formally switched my undergraduate major three times and now I’m doing it again. I realize that this is irrational and kind of crazy, but it’s better now than later, right? After I’ve spent two or three semesters trying to figure it out. I’m digging deep here, trying to see the plan that The Big Man Upstairs has laid out for me but it’s hard. I don’t know where to look and so I’m just going to go with my gut. I’ve considered everything my friends and family have advised me — thank you to everyone who listened to my irrational rantings — and I’ve formulated a plan, I think? I hope it doesn’t change. I hope this is what I’m supposed to do. You know, with all my analytic tendencies and addiction to intellectual stimulation — something I seem to need in order to be happy. I’m just the type of person that thinks WAY too much, I guess. Out of self-promotion I’ll consider it a positive quality, you know, like Albert Einstein-type-stuff as opposed to neuroticism. “Those who read too much and use their own brains too little fall into lazy habits of thinking.” -Albert Einstein

In the mean time, I guess I will just keep taking pictures of my breakfast.

And giving speeches to myself in the mirror. One of these days I am going to start taking my own advice.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine, as children do.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

Love always and stuff,