Sometimes I am angry
because I don’t know what a real woman is.
So, what am I supposed to be?
And sometimes I find myself longing for the past;
a period of falsehoods and lies. deceit and desperation.
It’s so much better now,
so why do I want that?
But on the good days,
I remember what inspires me to be healthy and happy.
To be a well-rounded individual in love with life
and in search of an even greater degree of roundedness to add to my well of circularity.
I’ll never “find” happiness.
But, one day, I will wake up and realize I am happy.
That is how change works.
There’s no striking metamorphism.
There’s no yogic cocoon with a majestic, monarch emergence.
I’m just me.
That’s all I’ll ever be.
One day I hope to accept that.
As for now, I will wait, wonder, and hopefully, live.
(that is how I type my name when I am off by a row –Alexandra)