by Alexandra

Sometimes I am angry

because I don’t know what a real woman is.

So, what am I supposed to be?

And sometimes I find myself longing for the past;

a period of falsehoods and lies. deceit and desperation.

It’s so much better now,

so why do I want that?

But on the good days,

I remember what inspires me to be healthy and happy.

To be a well-rounded individual in love with life

and in search of an even greater degree of roundedness to add to my well of circularity.

I’ll never “find” happiness.

But, one day, I will wake up and realize I am happy.

That is how change works.

There’s no striking metamorphism.

There’s no yogic cocoon with a majestic, monarch emergence.

I’m just me.

That’s all I’ll ever be.

One day I hope to accept that.

As for now, I will wait, wonder, and hopefully, live.


(that is how I type my name when I am off by a row –Alexandra)