Confianza

by Alexandra

“You’ve just gotta have more confidence!”

That’s what I said to one of my friends today. She’ was stressing out about this, that, and the other thing: about herself and school and men and various other frustrations that plague today’s women.

But as I dealt out that seemingly nonchalant advice, I realized that I was actually talking to myself, and on a much deeper level to-boot. How many times a day to I worry about silly or frivolous things, engaging in my “personal fable,” only because my own self-regard is flawed? It’s sad, really.

Why do I, or my friends, or anyone else for that matter, do this?

Maybe it stems from my own perfectionism, or level of self-esteem, or just social anxiety of some sort. It’s so easy to tell a friend to just “buck up” and stop feeling down but actually engaging in this process myself would feel like a completely different situation.

So — am I being hypocritical? Or, am I actually projecting my insecurities and, in a way, talking to myself? But maybe, I’m just relating. Heart-to-heart. Friend-to-friend.

I’ve made about 6428 mistakes so far, which averages out to about one for each day of my life. I’m slowly starting to realize that these “beloved” mistakes are okay, and I shouldn’t regret anything. How else do I learn?

I really should just live and let live. Maybe we all should.

-Alexandra

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