Taste the Rainbow

by Alexandra

Hey folks, Skittles can kiss my assassin

Coconut cake, with a million colors. It tastes like happiness.

Except, I’m lazy. I didn’t feel like creaming the butter, whipping the egg whites or alternating buttermilk with flour and buttermilk with flour and buttermilk with flour and buttermilk with flour, etc, etc, etc.

I didn’t feel like digging around with cake flour and the sifter so I just used all-purpose flour. I didn’t feel like scooping and tapping and smoothing, so I just scooped and dumped, Alexandra-style. A pinch here, a pinch there, a pinch because I darn felt like it.

The result? dense cake. But, dense cake that tastes pretty darn good. It’s not too sweet, it’s not too overpowering in any one area, and the frosting is heavenly. Do you know how to make good frosting, friends? Use salted butter. I don’t know why, but it just tastes like happiness. Yes, happiness is a flavor.

I was talking with my sister’s boyfriend once and I referred to my “happy spoons.” He told me that he didn’t understand how a spoon could be happy. I told him that he didn’t understand life.

I made this cake because I was going to celebrate my half birthday with my friends. Yes, I actually only made half of a cake. I was telling them, “I hope it tastes good!” and my friend Kirby said, “well, didn’t you try some? I mean, you have an entire half-cake at home still, right?”

I said, “Kirby, you don’t understand. I literally only made half of a cake. Seriously. Truly. Completely. Half.”

Suzie didn’t understand either.

 In any case, the cake was fun, my (1/2) birthday was fun, and I just had a fun night.  Good friends, good food, good fun. What else do you need? I mean seriously. (Okay, maybe a few other things…)

In any case, if you are interested in making a fantastic rainbow cake, I can help you!

Rainbow Crack Cake: The Method
  1. Make your cake batter. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good recipe or not, and it doesn’t matter if you forget to whip the egg whites or not. All that really matters is that you have batter and it retains all the defining properties of cake batter.
  2. Divide batter into three portions.
  3. Add lots of food coloring to each portion. When you think you have added enough, you probably haven’t. So add more. When the cake is baked, the color fades because the flour absorbs the dye pigments. Just trust me here, you need a lot of dye. Yes, your liver will hate you, but whatever.
  4. Pour the first color batter (1/3 batch) into the bottom of the prepared pan (it should be greased and dusted with flour like any other cake). Spin the pan between your palms to force the batter to move outward and completely coat the bottom of the pan.
  5. Bake at the designated temperature for 1/3 of the recommended baking time for the whole cake. It should be slightly firm, but not completely cooked.
  6. Remove from oven, cool slightly, add the next color of batter to the top. Repeat spinning motion, bake for another 1/3 of cooking time.
  7. Add final batter color, repeat spinning motion, return to oven until cake is cooked through. This may be difficult for non-experienced bakers. To determine if the cake is done, you don’t want to be poking it with a million toothpicks, but you definitely don’t want an over-baked cake. The cake should look done on top, and when you gently touch the side, it should dent a little but slowly spring back up. Only then should you poke it. Contrary to all toothpick instructions, the toothpick should not come out clean. It should have a few soft, slightly sticky crumbs stuck to it.
  8. When done, remove cake from oven, cool until just warm. Run a knife around the perimeter, release spring form, invert onto a wire cooling wrack, cool completely before frosting.