by Alexandra

I’m pretty tiny, I’ll admit. I’m a short, little squirt of a girl, but when I make a sandwich, you’d better believe it’s a man sandwich.

I eat chicken with my hands,

whole turkey legs,

and I pump iron like nobody’s business.

I’m feisty, like a cat, from all that purrrr-otein.

I should be a body builder, seriously.

Chomp: toasted whole wheat bread, garlic hummus, avocado, pepper jack cheese, tomato, low-sodium turkey, green lettuce

I had forgotten that I bought myself a little Christmas present. This baby is “the gift of Christmas,” a true miracle, I tell you.

Sweet mother…

Holy crap cow Mother of God moley mackerel toast!