Like flying

feel it

Farewell

Bittersweet is this ending –

I’ve been blogging here for almost three years! Crazy, isn’t it? I’ve had ups and downs, my life has changed significantly and I am an altogether different person. I know that sounds cheezy and silly, but it’s true. It has been an awesome experience, and it helped me realize how I am growing and changing. Blogging has also been an outlet for me, ever since I began.

One thing I’ve learned through blogging is that life is beautiful. Sometimes, not even the most skilled photographer can capture the perfect, beautiful essence of a sunset or a smile; likewise, I can’t always find the right words to describe my emotions, or a feeling, or an experience I had. Surely nobody else could, either, because those experiences, feelings and emotions are subjective to me — they are mine.

It’s been fun trying, though!

Alas, wordpress notified me that my my online media space is 99.1% full. Unless I start paying annual fees to expand my online storage, I will no longer be able to upload and post photos.

I am a college student. I cannot afford annual fees.

I love taking pictures, I love writing, I love going out in the world and finding happiness. I love sharing it, too.

A lot is changing this fall. I’m going to a new place, to experience new people and feelings and foods, a new sort of independence, a new sort of existence, a new life in essence. I’m nervous and scared and overwhelmed and terrified, but excited nonetheless. I know this sounds odd, but it feels like I’m going to be dying. Not in a sadistic or morbid way, but it’s like my old life is dying and I’m REALLY starting new. That means that so much of my old life is leaving — my bedroom, my kitchen, my “current situation” in terms of my study habits, what I do with my spare time, the way I view myself and the way others view me.

I’m an adult now.

So I guess what I’m saying (in the usual circuitous manner) is that I’m going to stop blogging. I can’t post pictures anymore, and that is a large part of the reason I like blogging. Considering that I won’t be able to afford to support the blog if I have to pay for it, and since my resources are ending, and my “old life” is ending, I figured that now is an appropriate time to say goodbye.

I didn’t want to just ditch you; I know that some people like to regularly read my blog, and I am so thankful for that! I love having readers! Blogging is cathartic for me, but it’s so special to know that other people are reading what I write, looking at my pictures, trying to experience life through my eyes. It makes me feel important.

This blog has been kind of funny, too. I don’t post much about my personal life on here, and so most of you don’t really know anything about me as a person (I think I’ve only ever posted a few pictures of myself!) or anything . But, you know so much about my life! You see my world through my camera lens, you taste my food, you “listen” to my ramblings and pick up my conversational lingo/personality by the way I write. I find that very interesting…you know ME without knowing me! It’s a sense of familiar unfamiliarity, an exposed anonymity…oxymoronic irony at its finest.

So, thank you, readers, for sticking with me through the pointless posts, the technological glitches, the grammar errors, the terrible picture quality (in the beginning, at least) and some of the silly things I’ve said.

Thank you and adieu!

 -Alexandra

Just mah eatz

Okay, I’ll admit it; I have a fear of chia seeds.

I guess it’s not really a fear, they just creep me out. They absorb water and form creepy slime, they are crunchy little bits that don’t crunch at all, and they kind of look like bugs.

I eat them in my oatmeal pretty much every day, but that is usually it. I’ve mixed them into an oat/yogurt recipe and I might have thrown them into baked goods at some point in time, but never, ever have I eaten them plain or in a food that they were a main ingredient.

That is…until today:

I had never had full-fat coconut milk until recently, either. The thing about coconut milk is you have to use it within two days of opening a can, which meant that I had a lot of coconutting to do when I decided to pour some on my oatmeal. In any case, I mixed 1 tablespoon of chia seeds with 2 tablspoons of coconut milk from the fridge (so it was cold) and after about 10 minutes+stirring frequently, the mixture was very thick, very coconutty, very rich and very delicious! I’ll bet it would be delicious on oatmeal, but it would probably melt and become very runny. Maybe as an ice cream topper? I don’t know. I like it with a spoon, but then again, that’s the only way I’ve ever had it.

Coconut milk oats are delicious! + pumpkin seeds, dried mango and dried strawberries.

Suzie likes coconut, too.

-Alexandra

Power breakfast: oat/bran/chia blend (GF!) with almonds, cherries,  carob chips, cinnamon and cashew butter.

I can’t wait for college. That is all.

-Alexandra

Sleep

I pretty sure that online, there are about eighty million different articles preaching the importance of sleep.

During high school, my friends playfully called me “the granny” because I was always in bed by 10 pm. Then, when I woke up and responded to their text messages, I received responses such as “WHY ARE YOU UP AT SUCH AN UNGODLY HOUR?!” and “shekbejdjj&@@/&@@&@@@$””&#*%*%djkdo!!!! You woke me up! $%#*^!!!!!”

But when I don’t go to bed by ten and my schedule demands that I wake up at six o’clock in the morning, things start to fall apart.

Take today, for example: I woke up at 6:30, on a grand-spankin’-total of 6 hours of shut-eye. I hardly had enough time to choke back a cup of coffee, I didn’t even brush my hair, I pulled on my work clothes and stumbled into my car to go to work. I. was. tired.

Surprisingly, things went pretty well for a while. The shop was busy, I was running around to and fro, serving up coffee and sandwiches and muffins and the like, and then before I knew it, ten o’clock came and went, and that’s when things started to get ugly. The eyelids started dropping, the coordination stopped existing, I was bumping into counter corners and splashing HOT coffee on myself and my energy was just gone. Gone. None. 11 am.

By the time I took my lunch break, I was sweaty and sleepy and downright done, but I still had 3 hours left until the end of my shift. I was counting the minutes.

I finally got home at about 4, mindlessly swallowed a bowl of gluten free pasta and a handful of chocolate covered almonds and sluggishly trudged to my room where I proceeded to pass out on the floor. A two-hour nap followed.

Did I feel alive and awake and happy to be here today? Definitely not. I felt like a walking zombie.

I LOVE my job, I love chocolate covered almonds and I love coffee, but did I enjoy any of those things today? No. Because I was so doggone tired.

One short night of sleep doesn’t kill a person or throw them into the whack that I experienced today. However, being an exercise slave and forcing myself to get up at the crack of dawn to beat the heat day after day (this is why I hate summer) combined with many late nights, early-morning shifts, a recent chest infection and consequent round of evil antibiotics combined with the stress of figuring out how to feed myself, well…my body had had enough. And I crashed.

And alas, folks, I certainly recognize the importance of good old-fashioned sleep. And I’ll be damned if I don’t start respecting it, too.

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